[File: Hard Monkey – initial training]
[Begin transcript]
Oh, there you are. Take a seat number eleven. I’m reviewing your file and I see you were recruited from universe blue. So you’re probably a little nervous about your first assignment. Well don’t worry, first assignments are always observation only and we’re going to make you as inconspicuous as grass.
That’s where I come in. I will help you integrate the language and basic survival skills you’ve already learned with your assigned cover during your three weeks in universe yellow, planet Earth, North America, in the year [{redacted} replaced with era] mid twentieth century/early 21st.
Your cover is a male of the species in maturity. Your personality profile template assignment is conservative, traditional. My job is to cover the broad outlines of this template, give you a feel for attitudes and preferences, that sort of thing. This alone will not stand personal scrutiny; your next training station will add the individual quirks and contradictions you’ll need in order to avoid detection and capture.
You do not want to be captured.
Comfy? Good. Help yourself to refreshment.
Let’s begin. Do you prefer top down or bottom up? Ah, me too.
As I mentioned, conservative, traditional. If you’ll check your language installment, you’ll see conservative is defined as tending or disposed to maintain existing views, conditions, or institutions; marked by moderation or caution. Dress and style is indicated by a preference for traditional norms of taste, elegance, and manners.
As a political philosophy itself? You do like the top down, don’t you? Well, this philosophy is based on tradition and social stability, it stresses established institutions preferring gradual development to abrupt change. In practical matters this manifests itself by calling for lower taxes [see economic packet subsection three], limited government regulaton of business and investing [see economic packet subsection four], a strong national defense [see species preference packet {redacted, level 2 authorization required}], and individual financial responsibility for personal needs such as retirement and health care [see economic packet subsection 7 – capitalism, stage 4]. Broadly speaking you believe in equity, the law of the jungle [reference function user disabled – no further references will be provided], survival of the fittest, and tend to look to the past for solutions.
But let’s narrow down a bit shall we? Your assignment is North America, specifically, let’s see, what are they calling themselves here… ah yes, the United States of Colo… oh no, wait, America. You refer to yourself as “the right.” What’s that? No, as much as they would like that, the opposite party is called “the left.” Yes, humans are that simple. And may I say, I’m encouraged by your speed in getting into the spirit of this species, eleven. You’ve been doing your homework.
To continue, your focus is on the individual, with a goal towards economic freedom. You support employers and advocate for free trade. You strive for a deregulated economy, business, and industry. You wish to avoid taxing and spending and want little or no government interference in society or social lives. Your feelings towards social progress is a strong preference for maintaining the status quo.
When it comes to society and culture a good motto to remember is “The world is fine as it is.” You prefer a society that is exclusive, established, and nationalistic. The preferred community is one based on morals.
This community of morals holds the family unit as the primary source of socialization and cultural transmission. This atmosphere is one of reward and punishment. A strict parent, preferentially two, preferentially heterosexual, as according to the principles of equity and tradition, through a method known as tough love, builds a relationship with the child based on respect and fear, and through this relationship instills moral strength and absolutes. The primary goal is to produce a self reliant child.
Valuable education is perceived as that which teaches the skills necessary to compete and succeed, with an emphasis on individualism. A child equipped with this education built on the values of self discipline, self defence and moral strength, builds character. Those with a successfully built character become self reliant adults. Vocations preferred by this template include: police, military, stockbrokers, sales, law, and agriculture.
I know. It’s a lot to take in. Would you like a break? No? Very well, we’re almost done anyway. We’re down to the individual. The traditional conservative holds these general beliefs: Religion is theistic, organized, and conventional. Others must not interfere with rights. Criminals choose to be criminals and the homeless have no work ethic, no values, and no shame. Society is survival of the fittest. Equality is opportunity and freedom is the chance to achieve or fail, but of the two freedom is best. That said, if opportunity needs a champion, the conservative is there.
What else? Hmmm. Just remember that you uphold order, like those who help themselves, and respond very well to strong role models and you’ll do fine.
I think we’re done here. Have you had midday nourishment? Ever had a mayonnaise churro? Oh, you’re in for a…[end transcript]
