Everyone has some sort of stress reaction. Some people get tired and shut down, go take a nap. Some people feel the need to beat the shit out of a body bag at the gym, or push themselves with weights and strength positions. Some people drink and or do drugs. Some people eat. Some people have sex. Some people argue.
Everyone has some method they have developed to cope with a stress reaction. Methods vary according to the strength of the reaction, whatever your personal resilience factor is, and the nature of the stress. Other variables, too, of course.
A great deal of stress can be avoided simply by the recognition of two factors. The first, naturally enough, are whatever variables in the situation that are out of your control, directly or indirectly. Even things you think are in your control, there are more than likely aspects that are not.
Do not stress over what cannot be changed. Unless it is fear. Fear that cannot be changed will eventually give rise to revolt, no matter what the context, not just the overall societal picture. The way you go about thinking, is paramount. Many people are unaware of how their cognitive stack operates.
The second has to do with expectations and attachment.
It is very difficult to live life without expectation. We are wired for it. We are generally gratified when expectations are met. It is fine to have them.
In the right proportion and in the right context. This seems obvious, but many of us fail to see the obvious, myself most of all perhaps. The eyes slide right over obvious; it is most often viewed as beneath us. Until you miss it.
Stress reactions. When I was young, I got into a lot of fights at school, during my elementary and middle school years. The fights ended by high school, the benefits of being transferred to a private school, at least, seemingly.
After I got into my fight, I would have my stress reaction, not before or during. I got nauseous, shaky, sweaty, and often emptied the contents of my stomach. It took me a long time to calm down. I eventually learned to channel that reaction.
I can feel it coming. I no longer shake, sweat, or vomit. Stopped that before I got into the Army. I did use to take drugs. Quite a bit in my youth. Stimulants and psychedelics. I dislike alcohol and opioids – anything that makes me intellectually bogged down. Cannabis does not. It does for some.
I have my methods. They have changed over time and according to my level of self improvement. Meditation is good. I am peripatetic by nature, my dog appreciates this. I am learning to play the guitar. I find that very therapeutic. I suck of course, but everyone does when they start something.
And then there is philosophy. What a balm for the troubled soul.
“Doctors keep their scalpels and other instruments handy for emergencies. Keep your philosophy ready too.” Marcus Aurelius
Why? “For as time passes we forget and end up doing the opposite.” Epictetus. Heraclitus would say, well, yes, naturally. But I digress.
Knowing yourself is key. I know how I react to stress. Adrenaline and energy. I learned this because as a kid I had three choices, depending on who or what was doling out the hitting.
Run. Always the best option. Not always possible.
Fight. For when the best option fails.
Take it. This happened more often than I would have liked.
Ignoring it is even better although I put this under the take it category.
I am hard to anger and easy to appease. I have trained myself to be this way. I rarely stay angry more than a day. Or a night’s sleep. But after anger fades away, there are still lessons to learn. I try to make sure and let anger fade before I make any decision of consequence. I have yet to think of a time when I made a significant decision in anger that turned out to be the best decision, or the best way to go about a decision already made.
I am an old hippie. Nevermind I was born in 1966 and am too young to be an original hippie. Nevertheless, an old hippie is what I am.
Peace, love, understanding. They had it right. They got much wrong. I take the good and leave the bad. As much as I am able.
I hope you do too.
And don’t stress about it, ok?
