Today:
5:38 a.m. – Wake from dream that is either filled with existential dread or a strange mixture of whatever I’m reading at the time and old friends. Shrug it off and go back to sleep.
6:03 a.m. – Urinate.
7:15 a.m. – Clean bed. Just kidding. Rise to meet the day with steely purpose.
7:16 a.m. – Enter shower after spending one full minute to travel 32 feet.
7:30 a.m. – Exit shower carefully avoiding fully stretched out Labrador occupying shower mat.
7:35 a.m. – Finish drying off in four inch wide square of shower mat not occupied by Labrador.
7:36 a.m. – Finish dressing. Typical outfit: Sweatpants, black, comfortable. Socks, black. Tshirt or three quarter sleeve shirt. Some tshirts express my fabulous sense of humor and whimsy. Most are solid color, grey, or naturally, black. Shoes, running. Grey or black. Yes. I am a ninja.
7:37 a.m. – Begin discussion with spouse. Typical conversations: Expressions of good will and fortune regarding the upcoming day. Good natured verbal arm wrestling over the nature of the day’s evening meal. Tears of joy wept over successful employment of Son. Tears of outrage over yesterday’s outrage.
7:50 a.m. – Attend to Labrador and Feline. Wife departs to stamp out pestilence and do no harm.
7:55 a.m. – Check status of Son.
8:00 a.m. – Load Labrador, Son, son’s wheelchair, laptop, motor drive assist, and backpack into car and depart for downtown.
8:50/9 a.m. – Arrive downtown and unload backpack, motor drive assist, laptop, son’s wheelchair and Son. Pet Labrador and assure that he is indeed, a good boy. Hug Son and assure that he is indeed, a good boy.
8:53/9:03 a.m. – Depart downtown.
9:28 a.m. – Arrive home. Brew coffee.
9:30 a.m. – Feed Labrador.
9:32 a.m. – Consume coffee, dare to learn of the day’s fresh outrage.
9:45 a.m. – Acquiesce to Labrador’s insistence on abandonment of outrage in favor of going outside.
9:47 a.m. – Secure home. Begin walking Labrador.
10:35 a.m. – Return home, winded. Route allows Labrador to be safely off leash, in woods, over varied terrain ranging from gentle to quite steep.
10:36 a.m. – Clean Feline waste management system.
10:42 a.m. – Wash hands.
10:43 a.m. – Turn on jazz. Enjoy snack.
10:50 a.m. – Turn on computer. Write, if fortunate. Work on what I’ve already written if not. Otherwise, sit and think.
11:00 a.m. – Experience the theory of many worlds divergence point. In one reality I am sitting here writing the words ‘writing the words’, in another I am still playing with the Labrador, in another I am engrossed on the internet, in another I am choking on a snack, in another I am talking on the phone, in another I am answering the door, in another I am playing a video game, in another I am smoking cannabis, in another I am smoking cannabis while playing a video game, in another I am calling my senator, in another I am running on a treadmill, in another I am reading a novel, in another I am laughing with a friend. In none of them am I supporting Trump. Unless it’s bizarro world and the great orange one is the exact opposite of the version I am unfortunate enough to live in.
11:15 a.m. – In half of those realities swear off that shit with a THC percentage over 25. In the other half, thank the cosmos for that shit with a THC percentage higher than 25.
11:16 a.m. – Continue writing, reading, see above.
12:40 p.m. – Call spouse, ask if she’s game for two out of three in another good natured verbal arm wrestling match regarding the evening meal. Lose. Ask about the events of the morning. Take note of any various items that may need attending. Typical items include: Various odd jobs forgotten such as folding laundry, taking out garbage, scheduling events, picking up or dropping off dry cleaning, and fetching supplies.
12:50 p.m. – Lunch.
1:15 p.m. – Clean up after lunch. Give Labrador snack. As if he’s not getting them all day.
1:16 p.m. – House duty or errands run. Otherwise cultural enrichment. This is elective time. Choices include continuing writing if fortunate, otherwise engage in some form of personal growth. Reading. Learning something new. Playing the pan flute. Catch up on current events not necessarily political. Outside with Labrador.
3:00 p.m. – Meditate. Ok, nap.
4:00 p.m. – Depart for downtown.
4:40/5:00 p.m. – Load Son, son’s wheelchair, laptop, motor drive assist, and backpack into car and depart for home.
5:01 p.m. – Listen to the world weariness of Son after less than two full weeks on his very first job. Grin like fool. Continue home.
5:50/6 p.m. – Arrive home. Repeat Son and gear unloading. Daily itinerary concludes. Upload data to mothership and download evening itinerary.
