It took so long to fix
the place since the last
time I had a house party
that I was reluctant
to fling the doors wide
make the windows shake
empty the contents of my bar
make eyes at my girl’s ass
and throw all the furniture
into the pool.
But that is what a party is for.
So I
put all the cigarette butts
into beer bottle swill
wiped all the coke remnants
off the coffee table
laughed at the lingerie
between the cushions (glad
my girl knows I’m good)
and scrubbed the vomit
from behind the toilet.
That is what a clean house is for.
But I
missed all the laughter
and the bad behavior done
in goodwill towards my neighbor
it was time for another party
But I
am too old to fish out chairs
from the deep end
too old to snort coke off a brunette’s ass
and cigarettes make me choke now.
This is what wisdom is for.
So I
Hired a bad ass bouncer
who can neither be deceived
nor bought off with empty promises
of good behavior, when she can see
the white under your nose
and your intent to vomit
behind her toilet.
Mostly, she keeps an eye out
for insecurity and fear
because those two bastards
keep changing clothes
trying to sneak back in.
If this is not the battle cry for a good party, I do not know what is.