How it strikes a Contemporary

How It Strikes a Contemporary

I only knew one poet in my life:

And this, or something like it, was his way.

You saw go up and down Vallodolid,

A man of mark, to know next time you saw.

His very serviceable suit of black

Was courtly once and conscientious still,

And many might have worn it, though none did:

The cloak, somewhat shone and showed the threads,

Had purpose, and the ruff, significance.

He walked and tapped the pavement with his cane,

Scenting the world, looking it full in face,

An old dog, bald and blindish, as his heels.

They turned up, now, the alley by the church,

That leads nowhither; now, they breathed themselves

On the main promenade just at the wrong time:

You’d come upon his scrutinising hat,

Making a peaked shade blacker than itself

Against the single window spared some house

Intact yet with its mouldered Moorish work –

Or else surprise the ferrel of his stick,

Trying the mortar’s temper ‘tween the chinks

Or some new shop a-building, French and fine.

He stood and watched the cobbler at his trade,

The man who slices lemons into drink,

The coffee-roaster’s brazier, and the boys

That volunteer to help him turn its winch.

He glanced o’er books on stalls with half an eye,

And fly-leaf ballads on the vendor’s string,

And broad-edge bold-print posters by the wall.

He took such cognisance of men and things,

If any beat a horse, you felt he saw:

If any cursed a woman, he took note;

Yet stared at nobody – you stared at him,

And found, less to your pleasure than surprise,

He seemed to know you and expect as much.

So, next time that a neighbor’s tongue was loosed,

It marked the shameful and notorious fact,

We had among us, not so much a spy,

As a recording chief-inquisitor,

The town’s true master if the town but knew!

We merely kept a governor for form,

While this man walked about and took account

Of all thought, said and acted, then went home,

And wrote it fully to our Lord the King

Who has an itch to know things, he knows why,

And reads them in his bedroom of a night.

Oh, you might smile! There wanted not a touch,

A tang of. . . well, it was not wholly ease

As back into your mind the man’s look came

Stricken in years a little – such a brow

His eyes had to live under! – clear as flint

On either side the formidable nose

Curved, cut and coloured like an eagle’s claw.

Had he to do with A.’s surprising fate?
When altogether old B. disappeared

And young C got his mistress – wasn’t our friend,

His letter to the King, that did it all?
What paid the bloodless man for so much pains?

Our Lord the King has favourites manifold.

And shifts his ministry some once a month;

Our city gets new governors at whiles –

But never a word or sign, that I could hear,

Notified to this man about the streets

The King’s approval of those letters conned

The last thing duly at the dead of night.

Did the man love his office? Frowned our Lord,

Exhorting when none heard – ‘Beseech me not!

Too far above my people – beneath me!

I set the watch – how should the people know?

Forget them, keep me all the more in mind!’

Was some such understanding ‘twixt the two?

I found no truth in one report at least –

That if you tracked him to his home, down lanes

Beyond the Jewry, and as clean to pace,

You found he ate his supper in a room

Blazing with lights, four Titians on the wall,

And twenty naked girls to change his plate!

Poor man, he lived another kind of life

In that new stuccoed third house by the bridge,

Fresh-painted, rather smart otherwise!

The whole street might o’erlook him as he sat,

Leg crossing leg, one foot on the dog’s back,

Playing a decent cribbage with his maid

(Jacyinth, you’re sure her name was) o’er the cheese

And fruit, three red halves of starved winter-pears,

Or treat of radishes in April. Nine,

Ten, struck the church clock, straight to bed went he



My father, like the man of sense he was,

Would point him out to me a dozen times;

‘St-‘St’ he’d whisper, ‘the Corregidor!’

I had been used to think that personage

Was one with lacquered breeches, lustrous belt,

And feathers like a forest in his hat,

Who blew a trumpet and proclaimed the news,

Announced the bull-fights, gave each church in turn,

And memorised the miracle in vogue!

He had a great observance from us boys;

We were in error; that was not the man.

I’d like now, yet had haply been afraid,

To have just looked, when this man came to die,

And seen who lined the clean gay garret-sides

And stood about the neat low truckle-bed,

With the heavenly manner of relieving guard,

Here had been, mark, the general-in-chief,

Thro’ a whole campaign of the world’s life and death,

In his old coat and up to knees in mud,

Smoked like a herring, dining on a crust –

And, now the day was won, relieved at once!

No further show or need for that old coat,

You are sure, for one thing! Bless us, all the while

How sprucely we are dressed out, you and I!

A second, and the angels alter that.

Well, I could never write a verse – could you?

Let’s to the Prado and make the most of time.

ROBERT BROWNING

The strength of the crew is the ship and the strength of the ship is the crew.

What do you call a guy who hangs out with a bunch of musicians?
The drummer. (The reader is invited to infer the rimshot.)

We We We

Sometimes naked, sometimes mad, now a scholar, now a fool; thus they appear on earth, the free men. – Hindu Verse

‘Tis not alone my inky cloak, good mother,
Nor customary suits of solemn black,
Nor windy suspiration of forced breath,
No, nor the fruitful river in the eye,
Nor the dejected havior of the visage,
Together with all forms, moods, shapes of grief,
That can denote me truly: these indeed seem,
For they are actions that a man might play:
But I have that within which passeth show;
These but the trappings and the suits of woe. – Hamlet

People will come here and quickly say to themselves – this must be one of the most self indulgent…whatever this is…that I have ever seen.

Yes. Exactly. That’s the point.

People tell me their secrets, you see. And the thing about secrets is – and really, aren’t most conversations not done on social media private? The thing about secrets is, they are poison. If you carry one around long enough, you either break the secret or it breaks you. This is true of other people’s secrets we carry as well.

One of the first things they say in writing 101 is – mine your past. That’s easier said than done when the secrets you carry are almost always not yours alone to bear.

This puts the writer in a tough spot. You have to be tricksy. A little smoke and mirror, a little razzle dazzle. You know. Entertain.

But it’s only razzle dazzle and smoke and mirrors if there isn’t a point.
Believe me. I have a point. But it’s no fun if I just say it. I did a lot of work here.

You figure it out.

Aren’t we having fun?

Are you not entertained?

Weeeee weeeee weeee!

The trouble is that we have a bad habit, encouraged by pedants and sophisticates, of considering happiness as something rather stupid. Only pain is intellectual, only evil is interesting. This is the treason of the artist; a refusal to admit the banality of evil and the terrible boredom of pain. ~Ursula Le Guin

One must say Yes to life and embrace it whenever it is found — and it is found in terrible places; nevertheless, there it is.

For nothing is fixed, forever and forever and forever, it is not fixed; the earth is always shifting, the light is always changing, the sea does not cease to grind down rock. Generations do not cease to be born, and we are responsible to them because we are the only witnesses they have.

The sea rises, the light fails, lovers cling to each other, and children cling to us. The moment we cease to hold each other, the moment we break faith with one another, the sea engulfs us and the light goes out. ~James Baldwin

A cocktail for all seasons

Hero’s Dark and Stormy

2 oz. Fool
2 oz. Betrayal

1 and ½ oz. Hope

1 half cup of Vaishnava Sahajiya

1 spoonful each of: Spinoza, Blake, and Wilber

2 drops of genius (garden variety – it has more zang)

Pain to taste

In a container too small for the ingredients, add and then – whip, stir, blend, mix, emulsify, fold, distill, sublimate, strain, shake, froth and then ferment for 57 years.

Serves many.

Cheers!



On Being Contemporary

When the student is ready the teacher appears.
When the student is truly ready the teacher disappears. – Laozi

I love it when I get my ass handed to me, it’s so instructive! – Flying123

Hero, n.1 A fool, properly motivated.
a. Said fool, fortunate.
Hero’s Dictionary

Sometimes silence is the gift we all need most; sometimes the real gift is having something taken. Peratae Bogomil

Hitch Hereafter

Christopher was in a good deal of pain. Not a lot mind you, not the worst, for say what one likes about the state of palliative care the drugs are beyond reproach. Still, the pain was not to be trifled with, although neither was Christopher.

All things considered, it was a life of satisfaction, gratification, and accomplishment. He enjoyed himself immensely living it. His only regret was the impending sense of loss attendant to, well, everything. He comforted himself with the knowledge that this too, this feeling of loss, would itself be lost – along with pain not to be trifled with.

His last hours of time, a time that included his family, friends, loves and losses, are left to him and his, a span of time, whether it was long or short, joyous or filled with melancholy, are for him and his, sacred and necessarily shrouded, as is for nearly all who go before us.

And so we leave Christopher, our eye turned inward.

This is what happened next.

As the pain at last ended, Christopher would have experienced surprise at the realization of its end if it were not for the overwhelming sense of fascination which nearly superseded all else. Not only was there continuation, there was synthesis, a sense of removing a shoe that was too tight, a sightless seeing experienced through a grounded encapsulated love which transcends and includes all varieties of existence.

He saw his life, from his first inhalation to his terminal exhalation, a great blowing out that is entwined with a sublime taking in, all of it acceptable, necessary, and complete.

And then he was in the bar.

The bar was not large but neither was it small. Not all the chairs were filled but in those that were sat people in earnest conversation, one speaking, another in rapt attention. He sat in a small booth; perhaps enough for four if everyone was friendly and Christopher noticed his hands resting comfortably in front of him, his left gently wrapped, forefinger and thumb around a glass tumbler, three fingers full, two perfect cubes of ice halfway submerged in what could be none other than Mr Walker’s Amber Restorative. With a wry smile, it occurred to him how aptly he had named it after all. In Christopher’s right hand – a cigarette, just lit, the smoke wafting its way luxuriously upwards towards a ceiling he could not quite resolve.

It seemed like a fine idea, so he took a long, sensuous, drag on the cigarette – relishing the glow and crackle, letting the gray smoke fill the air in front of him. Seeming an idea finer still, he tipped a slower sip from the tumbler.

Both magnificent. Better than any other, in fact.

And then she came in.

All conversation in the bar ceased.

It was not a hostile silence. Quite the contrary, every face beamed rapt attention, utter appreciation, and unbounded affection.

He immediately understood why. She was, quite simply, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She trickled her way through the bar, making eye contact, sharing a quiet word or two, laying a hand on a shoulder, then moving on. Christopher did not take his eyes off her, no more than any other, but that did not keep him from taking another drag from his cigarette and another sip of his whiskey.

She flowed with a diaphanous grace, her attire both impeccably modest and impossibly alluring. While she did not at all resemble either, there was something that reminded him of both his wife and his daughter.

That was when she noticed Christopher, rooted him with her attention and slid her way towards his booth like a summer stream.

And sat across from him.

At which point conversation in the bar resumed as if nothing important at all had just occurred.

Christopher held up his glass to her, rattling ice against itself and the clear glass. “Not Perrier. So it’s hell for the atheist after all.” Christopher said with his customary dryness.

She laughed, causing every bit of his quantum foam to quiver in delightful response.

She slid a book across the table to him. “Open it.” She said.

Before looking at it, Christopher asked, “Any particular page?”

“Your choice. As always Christopher.” She replied.

He looked down and saw “The Quotable Hitchens from Alcohol to Zionism” Ed. by Windsor Mann. Taking his left hand off the glass he used his thumb to start rifling through the pages of the closed book starting at the end and moving towards the beginning. He stopped a third of the way, then began again, as if shuffling half a deck of cards. Once again he paused, then began anew. Attempting randomness a final time, his thumb between the pages, he opened the book and looked down.

And read:

My own opinion is enough for me, and I claim the right to have it defended against any consensus, any majority, anywhere, any place, any time. And anyone who disagrees with this can pick a number, get in line and kiss my ass. (debate at University of Toronto, 2006)

Beside the quote, tucked neatly into the binding, impossibly thin, was a small slip of paper with the familiar deep notch indicative of a ticket pulled from a dispenser.

Printed on it was the number one.

“You’re up.” She said with supreme good humor.

As Christopher’s laughter poured forth it mixed with hers, finally forced to admit that women are indeed damn funny.

The man who stands corrected strikes a heroic pose. Aphorisms, Apothegms, Axioms

This Little Piggy

Once upon a time
There was a pig who spoke eight languages
&
did sculptures with pieces of wood
&
rusted metal
he found on his travels.
One day he was out in the woods working
on a new installation piece
&
he met a family from a small town
in Tennessee.
They had been walking for days.
The dad saw the pig and said
“What are you doing, little piggy?”
They were quite surprised when the pig said
“Working with counterbalanced forces using found objects.”
They all stood around and looked at the piece for a long time.
No one said anything.
Finally, the dad shrugged turned to the mom
&
said, “I don’t know much about art but I know what I like.”
&
then they killed the pig
&
ate him.

Hero’s fable.
The motto?
Take what is freely given.
Give what is freely accepted.
Hic Rhodus! Hic salta!

Our Hero (working title)

Our hero is born penniless and rough

urged from the start to be pitiless and tough

kicks his father’s shin when he is three

and with this act sets his mother free.

Aptly named when he turns five,

pinned with a name that keeps him alive;

makes a bad bargain when he is six

fifty years later, still mending the bricks.

Nearly quite convinced by the age of ten,

the thing to be wary of is other men.

Yet women are created, not for your solace

certainly not put here to soothe your phallus.

But try telling that to the thirteen-year-old

and again and again to the something year bold!

A whirlwind of cannabis, sex, and acid

he learned to float by way of the placid.

Kicked out of the house by age eighteen

met up with a devil who fed him his spleen.

Out of sandy tan into olive green,

Uncle Sam crafts a man from the boy unseen.

Marries a German lass by the age of twenty

makes damn sure divorce comes in a hurry.

His second wife bears him a son

not so long before that one is done.

Meets the girl of his dreams and finishes college

then keeps right on pursuing knowledge.

Builds a tower made of dreams and paper

always thinking of what comes later

when the son is grown – the tower sheds leaves

for the past our rough hero grieves.

To be continued.

Redneck Roses

He was late. He hated being late. First, it was a razor too dull to shave with followed by a bowl of flakes with milk too old to eat with. His beat up piece of shit Ford had enough gas to get him to his job that paid just enough to keep it that way. Then Rodney decided to be a dick and not show up on time; so he had to stay another forty five minutes until he could leave.

He was late. He hated being late. The Army taught him (as it did a great many things) the value of showing up on time. Of course, being the Army, they took it too far, inevitably leading to a whole bunch of standing around doing nothing when the same nothing could be accomplished heaving a mop in the barracks.

So he took up the habit of smoking.

It came naturally, as all addictions do. He kept it up during his time wearing green. When he was discharged at 22, he found himself wandering like the smoke from yet another cigarette, instead of up – through the country – a few months here, a couple of weeks there, bouncing from one futon or recliner chair to another, like a worn out throw pillow too comfy to chuck out.

Most of the women were smokers too, of course. Birds of a feather and all that.

Until that one.

They met at a Wal-Mart. She was there with a kid that wasn’t hers but he didn’t know that at the time. He was there to get a fishing rod but she didn’t know that at the time either.

They met as people always do, by fate. He somehow summoned courage to ask her out. She somehow summoned the courage to let him.

And he was late. Late for the all important first date. He managed to squeeze in a quick shower and shave and the dull razor didn’t cut him too badly. If he didn’t push the beat up piece of shit Ford too hard, he should make it just in time.

As he got into the trailer park, his tires crunched the gravel and that’s when it hit him.

Flowers. He forgot the fucking flowers. No time. Have to improvise.

So he dumped out his last pack of cigarettes into an already engorged glovebox and with the empty carton he got out of the piece of shit Ford.

To spy a bunch of wildflowers next to her trailer.

He picked as much as the cigarette pack would hold, cramming them in and arranging the petals just so.

He held them behind his back when he rapped on her thin screen door.

He wouldn’t smoke another cigarette for the rest of her life.

People thought she was trash, 25 years later, tossing an old pack of cigarettes with crumbly dried wildflowers into an open grave.

People don’t know.

Cliché; n. The people’s phrase, always readily at hand, like a comfy throw pillow you just can’t bear to chuck out. – Hero’s Dictionary

A Whip in Hand

There is an old saying: “Never call a dog with a whip in your hand.”

I know. I had the very same reaction you just did. Or maybe not….

My initial reaction when I read this was, what sick motherfucker would be calling a dog with a whip in his hand? And two, no, three things came to mind in sequence immediately after.

The first was, oh yeah, this is an old saying. I mean, who do you see outside with a whip in their hand? Never mind the leash.

The second thing was, it was definitely a man that originated this saying. Come on, you know you saw a man when you pictured that hand.

The third was, just because the man is holding the whip, doesn’t mean he was the one who made the observation.

I’m pretty sure that was a woman.

In fact, I can see her there, feet shoulder width apart, hips slightly tilted with a fist riding on each, her face, the picture contempt makes when it looks down on the obvious, eyes rolling, smirking, absolutely trying not to laugh, not with but at, that which she sees before her, which is this:

A man, pissed off more than likely, running in circles, whip held high, shouting at a dog: “COME HERE!”

To which the woman replies, softly mind you, because she is no fool, “Never call a dog with a whip in your hand.”

That was my reaction at least.

Song of Heraclitus

From within ourselves we spring

the supreme paradox I sing

where nature coyly hides her sting

wound round the root of everything.

Just when you think you thought

what you won is what you fought

you’re busy filling the empty slot

of how you get by being got.

It speaks of things simply known

in hope of sprouting fully grown

rocky fields where seeds I’ve sown

heads aloft where hearts have flown.

From within ourselves you spring

the supreme paradox we sing

where nature wisely hides her fling

bedrock and nightstock of everything.

Suspecting something even deeper

reach across to nudge the sleeper

bound by sheets of a true believer

soaked reverie in love’s sweet fever.

Just when we think we lost

we find a spark burnt in frost

precious payment for hidden costs

bridging the river you must cross.

From within myself I spring

the supreme paradox you sing

where nature slyly shows her ring

wound round the finger of everything.

Beginnings

Beloved Reader,
Welcome. A book is an invitation, one you need not accept. Few things are more precious than time and fewer things more demanding of that infinite resource than a book. It is not an invitation blithely taken nor given. But it is one you can always excuse yourself from. This book is no different.

This isn’t to say you leave all your choices behind once you accept it.
If you find something here that isn’t your preferred cuppa, by all means, pour it out and find a blend that matches your taste. There truly is something for everyone. Above all, this book was written for an audience of one. It is not a novel. Nor is it a collection of short stories, poetry, essays, or (god forbid) a textbook.

It is all of these things, which means it is none of these things. Exactly as I intended.

Intentions are very important and I believe an author ought to make their intention known. This is what genres are for.

This book is intended to be read like any other. It has a beginning, a middle, and an end. But the choice is up to you. You can start here, as I intend, and work your way backwards until you reach December 6, 2016, the end of my book. Or you can go to December 6, 2016 and read forwards in time until you come back here, to the end of my book, also as I intended.

Or, you could print all these pages out, throw them in the air and then recollect them in haphazard order and read it that way. I doubt many will choose this. But this is the way life often presents itself. It’s rarely easy for anyone.

So what is the cost of this book? In terms of money, none at all. It took me six years to the day to finish this book and I will not accept a penny for it. I refuse to sell my birthright for a mess of pottage. Mark Twain said anyone who writes for a reason other than money is a fool. He’s right. And wrong. What he should have said is, anyone who writes for a reason other than payment is a fool. TANSTAFL (there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch, Mr. Heinlein whispers to me).

Money is not the only form of payment. I’ve already pointed out the first cost, time. The second form I ask for is a promise. I’m not going to say what that is right now, if you read long enough, you’ll know it when you see it. But again, the choice is for you to make, a promise forced under exchange is no promise at all. The promise I’ll ask for is nothing less than one I made myself.

What is my intention here? Always beware when someone offers you something without asking for money.

This book is a feather. It’s a bowl of pudding.

And I give it to you.

Good luck and I wish you well now and in the future.

Consciousness, n.; The collar around your neck connected to the leash in your hand. In the other? A carrot and stick, best when used traditionally.
Hero’s Dictionary